“O wretched man that I am!” (Romans 7:24)
I’ve learned the hard way that one of the chapters I need to read more frequently in the Bible is Romans 7. That is where the Apostle Paul declares that he is as wretched as they come. It’s a brutally honest declaration. Interestingly, he wrote it years after his Damascus Road salvation experience with Jesus!
Many of us don’t see ourselves the way the Apostle Paul saw himself when he wrote this letter to the Church at Rome. However, the truth is we are no different.
Recently, I had this epiphany. It tumbled me to a spiritual place where I have not been in some time. It was good medicine for me. However, I am still frightened by the experience and freely admit that I have not yet overcome the spiritual low point that came with it.
What happened? One of my best friends blew up about things I had said in the past. I was stunned and brought to tears. I never meant to hurt anyone with my words, but the damage was so obvious. After a night of deep reflection, I sent a text to my wife who was out of town: “What do you do”, I asked her, “when you realize you are not the man you thought you were”?
This was a devastating blow for me. Why? Because everything that was pointed out to me that I had said, I said since I became a Christian. Indeed, my words had seared my best friend’s soul. What could I ever possibly do to restore the trust and love my friend had for me? I had sincerely apologized, and the apology had been accepted. But I knew that I had a much deeper issue that needed to be resolved. How could I not have realized that my words hurt someone so much? What kind of Christian was I?
Knowing that confusion comes from Satan, I realized that he was having a field day with my confidence. In prayer, I turned to the Lord and simply asked for two things: “Help me, Lord, and help me grow from what I’ve done”.
It was then I thought about the words of the Apostle Paul. The change is Paul was so dramatic. He was not the same man after meeting Jesus, and I knew that I was no longer the same man I used to be. Yet, the very same man who declared to me that I was a “new creation” in Christ Jesus in Galatians was now admitting in Romans 7 that he was as wretched as they come.
I saw myself in this verse and realized as I never had before that I had not moved as far as I thought I had from wretchedness. I was still wretched. Indeed, my words to my friend were classic signs that I had fallen short of what God expected of me in my Christian life. I had not just let my friend down; I had let the Lord down, too. It was a double blow.
An apology is never enough when you do this to someone. I realized that I must do more – not for my friend – but for me. I continue to be in need of Godly change in my life. I need to see how I can grow from it. And with the God’s help, I will strive to be more like Christ.
Copyright 2021, Pen Holder Ministries
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