“No one has ascended to heaven but He who came down from heaven, that is, the Son of Man who is in heaven.” (John 3:13)
Did you know that a Christian friend is almost twice as likely to lead your child or grandchild to Christ as his or her own pastor? In fact, a friend has a better chance of leading them to Christ than you do. These observations should not come as a surprise. We’ve all seen the power that friends have over our children.
Jesus illustrated the power that a friend can have when he first met Nicodemus. When Nicodemus visited Jesus, he said to Jesus, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God.” (John 3:2) Notice that Nicodemus did not say that Jesus was a godly man, or a good teacher. He said Jesus came from God. Nicodemus was a Rabbi, too, as well as a respected judge who occupied one of seventy-one seats of the high court of Israel, the Sanhedrin. Yet, he recognized immediately that Jesus had been sent by God.
But Jesus didn’t act like God. He met Nicodemus on his own terms. He knew that this ruler of men had come to him personally, to make up his own mind rather than rely on the accounts of others. The last thing that Jesus wanted to do was to run him off with a holier-than-thou, self-righteous attitude. Instead, Jesus took the time to reason with Nicodemus. He let him ask the questions that were important to him and simply answered them.
The lesson here is that we must first be a friend to the unbeliever, whether it’s our child or our next-door neighbor. Like Jesus, we have to be willing to let them come to us on their terms, and when they do come, we have to be willing to listen and prepared to answer their questions.
Notice that Jesus did not apologize for who he was or what he believed. “Most assuredly, I say to you,” he told Nicodemus, “unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of heaven.” (John 3:3) Later in the conversation, Nicodemus, frustrated and confused, said, “How can these things be?” (John 3:9) Again, Jesus did not back down. “For God so loved the world,” he told him, “that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) The point here is that honesty should never be sacrificed at the expense of friendship. The two can and must go hand-in-hand.
Finally, Jesus was patient. He understood that Nicodemus needed some time to think about things. I wonder what might have happened to Nicodemus if Jesus had pushed him for a decision that night.
We, too, must be patient when it comes to salvation. Too often, we push our children and grandchildren down the aisle, rather than give them to time to ask the questions and think about the answers. We need to remember what Jesus said about such tactics. “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit.” (John 15:16)
Do you want to have more influence on your children or grandchildren when it comes to their faith? Try this: Be a friend, be honest, and be patient. Give Jesus the time to perform a work in them that will last.
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