A Good Name Is Priceless

“A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” (Proverbs 22:1)

I had an opportunity recently to teach my son a valuable lesson about the importance of a good name. In fact, it even had a spiritual truth with it. Don’t tell him, but we both learned something.

It involved one of the Friday night dances that his middle school sponsors during the year. Just like any other 8th Grader, he was too excited to stop and eat supper and was waiting for me at the door when I got home. I didn’t force the issue. I could tell it was a special night: The aroma of cologne permeated the house.

We headed out for the school at 6:45, sharp. You see, the dance started at 7:00 and it’s not fashionable to be late for it if you’re in the 8th Grade. In fact, if you do arrive late, there’s a good chance your girl might be with another guy. There’s no honor among thieves, if you know what I mean.

I sure like those Friday night dances. Robbie and I had didn’t have one bit of trouble enjoying the silence. It was quiet evening, until around 9:00. That’s when the Assistance Principal telephoned me. It seemed Mark had gotten himself in a minor “dispute” with another boy. I was told to come pick him up immediately. “Control yourself,” Robbie told me as I stormed out the door.

I sure felt her prayers during the ten minutes it took me to get to Mark’s School. I was steaming when I arrived, but I put a smile on my face and said hello to some of my friends as I scanned around in search of Mark. One of the parents told me Mark was downstairs waiting for me. “Thanks,” I said, but I didn’t mean it. I couldn’t have been more embarrassed. They were having a wonderful time. Their kids were behaving. But not my kid… my little beast was downstairs in solitary confinement, waiting for the bail bondsman to arrive.

When I found him, I said, “What in the world are you doing fighting. Are you crazy? Look at the kid. He outweighs you by 40 pounds.”

I was so angry. I didn’t speak to him all the way home. I know it was a ride he won’t soon forget.

He expected the spanking of his life. That’s normally how I deal with major infractions. After all, even the Bible says, “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.” (Proverbs 23:13) But this time, better judgment prevailed and both of us learned a lesson.

“Go get your baseball glove and your favorite computer game and put them here on the table,” I told him when we arrived home.

He returned with both and placed them on the coffee table in our den.

“Pick the one that’s most important to you,” I told him, knowing that his love for baseball would cloud his judgment. He picked up the glove.

“Okay, I told him. You took my good name away from me tonight and that’s the most important thing in the world to me. So I’m taking baseball away from you. You’re off the team…Your season is over. Now go get your shower and get into bed.”

I let him simmer for about an hour and went into his bedroom to say good night. He was crying his eyes out. “What’s wrong, son,” I asked.

“You tricked me,” he said. “You knew I’d pick the glove.”

“Yes, I knew you’d pick the glove because I know what’s most important to you. But you didn’t stop and think about what’s important to me. And when you got in that fight, you dishonored everyone in this house who has the Ruffin name. You can’t buy a good name, Mark. It’s priceless and it takes years to earn it. The shame is it only takes a few moments to lose it.”

“I tell you what I’ll do,” I told him. “I’ll trade with you. I’ll give you baseball back if you promise to behave and help us keep our good name. Deal?”

“Deal,” he said.

I learned something about parenting that night. I didn’t have to beat any sense in him after all. I just had to talk with him on his level. And boy did he ever understand.